Sexual wellness 101: what is sexual wellness and why does it matter?

Sexual wellness is a term that's so hot right now.

Take one look on social media and it looks as though sexual wellness covers everything from fingering to STI checks, to cancelling on your friends because you decided to stay home and have a wank instead. 

But to us there's an important distinction, sexual wellness and sexual health are not the same. 

What is sexual health?

Sexual health covers anything and everything you may need to see your doctor or care team for. From STI checks to contraception, to getting advice on things like vaginal dryness. But when it comes to how you feel about sex and finding pleasure, this is where it starts to stray into sexual wellness instead. 

So, what is sexual wellness and why should I care about it?

There's many definitions, but to us here at Knude Society, sexual wellness is building a relationship with your body that's satisfying and long-lasting, understanding your desires and boundaries, and nurturing relationships that benefit this.

As our resident Somatic Sex therapist, Emily King explains:

"Sexual wellness in its simplest form is a state of emotional, mental and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality. Sexual wellness involves looking at your individual sexuality, your relationships and your sexual experiences and interactions."

It's about challenging attitudes and rhetoric you may have heard your entire life. Figuring out what makes your body shout "YES PLEASE MORE". And, for women especially, breaking through barriers of stigma that can lead to shame. 

Is sexual wellness the same for everyone?

Short answer is; no! 

Like all things in life, we like what we like. And others may not. And that's OK.

What you may need to work on or concentrate on to help you feel fulfilled sexually may differ from the next person. For you, it may centre around being able to make space for understanding your desires. For others it may be around breaking down the taboo they feel over certain attractions. 

No two people will be exactly alike when it comes to it.

Can I improve my sexual wellness? 

Short answer is; yes of course!

It's not static. It's a fluid and ever-changing state of being. Much like other areas in our lives around mental and physical health. There's no ticking it off a list. 

Emily has a lot to add for this:

"A large component of sexual wellness is developing the belief and the skills that you 1. Have the right to ask for what you want and 2. You feel confident doing so. I don’t think I need to elaborate more on how valuable these skills are for all aspects of life. Self-advocacy in sex is extremely difficult for a lot of people, so if you can master that, imagine what else is possible!"

We think there are some key components you can come back to time and time again to help improve and maintain what excellent sexual wellness looks and feels like to you.

1. Self-understanding

Truly knowing your body and what feels good to you is the first step in sexual wellness. This includes understanding your anatomy — seriously, sometimes going back to school and being able to label everything can be very empowering. Trying out what brings you pleasure — you can do this alone or with a partner. And some times it's just actually listening to what your body is telling you too, to be more in tune with it.

Time and time again we've heard and experienced sex as pleasure for others. Whilst for some this is a turn-on, for many women this has blocked out that feedback on what actually is pleasurable for them!

2. Open communication

Because sexual wellness doesn't happen in a vacuum and talking about desires and needs can be empowering. 

Whether you're in a long term relationship, or just hanging out for the night. Being able to openly communicate is crucial to enhance your experiences and relationships. 

3. Consent and boundaries

There's a big conversation around what consent and boundaries mean for people. But ultimately it's important to have this conversation with any partners you may have and it should always be enthusiastic and ongoing, and both of you should feel empowered to express their comfort levels.

Are there other benefits to improving my sexual wellness?

We're glad you asked, because yes! 

As Emily explains:

"Accept that the common approach to life - rushing around, doing, looking for instant gratification, over-working, highly stressed etc - is not going to create the best context for a fulfilling sex life. Sexuality, women’s sexuality in particular, will not and SHOULD not be rushed or demanded from. Give to it, feed it regularly and it will feed you."

In 2024, Durex reported that 51% of sexually satisfied people reported feeling healthier and more confident. Whilst a whopping 65% reported feeling happier overall. 

Plus, for women a German study that being sexually happy resulted in living longer too. So to us, that's a win, win!