4 things I wish I had known about vibrators

Vibrators, sex toys, rampant rabbits, bullets. Despite the long list of names the infamous vibrator has and the fact that under 3 million of us in the UK own one — it's weird how little we actually talk about them.

For many, the act of buying a vibrator for the first time is an… experience. There's an overwhelming amount of choice, never-ending lists of what they're meant to do, and lurid colours to attention. Because fluorescent pink is what all sex lives need. But this blog post isn't about that.

This blog post is about things I wish I had known what thinking about and buying a vibrator would make me feel. Without even getting my hands on one.

1) It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you

There's a common misconception that buying a vibrator means there's something wrong with you or your sex life. I know I felt it when my partner at the time broached the subject.

Was I doing something wrong? Was I not good enough? Is this going to replace me in bed?

These are the thoughts that went through my head, and maybe yours too. But the truth is that vibrators — or any kind of sex toy for that matter — are there to be an addition to your pleasure not a replacement. They can help you achieve orgasms, they can help you elongate orgasms, or they might not even help you orgasm but they just feel damn good. And here at Knude Society, we're all for things that make us feel damn good.

2) A vibrator won't suddenly make your sex life amazing

OK, so this might sound strange coming from a sex toy company, but we don't deal with bullshit here. Sometimes adding in a sex toy does add an instant spark to your sex life — either with or without a partner.

But it's also true that it can take a while to get into using and feel comfortable with. You might feel strange using a vibrating piece of silicone to help you orgasm. And that is ok. A beginner vibrator can be the way to go, but also most of the time, a vibrator isn't going to be the sole answer to a multitude of reasons why you feel your sexual pleasure isn't as good as it could be. The beauty of our bodies is that we can go at our own pace — we explore, learn what feels good, and go from there.

3) Your sex life won't look like what vibrators say on the tin

Or I guess in this case, box.

The bright colours, the models, the list of sheer orgasmic pleasure that a vibrator is meant to give. We know that's not what it's like to really feel pleasure in your own body. Everyone's pleasure looks and feels different — and it's time we stop thinking that it doesn't.

Sex and self pleasure gets weird, sensual, messy, surprising, funny, bliss-inducing, awkward, sometimes disastrous, sometimes mind-blowing. And we can only really truly enjoy ourselves once we learn to accept it all.

4) There's no right or wrong way to have an orgasm

Also orgasms aren't the be all and end all of having a great time. Whether you come from a five minute vibing session, a half an hour tease, or not at all. There's literally no wrong way to enjoy yourself.

It's easy to think that a mind-blowing big O is the base level when it comes to using a sex toy. They're sold to us as orgasm machines that are the answer to all questions and can go on for hours. But we all get to decide when, where, and how our sexual pleasure and orgasms look.

Ultimately at the end of the day, vibrators are there to add to your sex life. I wish I had known this when I was first introduced to the world of vibrators. Instead I felt embarrassed, not good enough, and intimidated. But it's time to put a stop to that.