By Emily King

Live, laugh, lube

Lube may be the centre of my universe. I’m not exaggerating here. In both my professional and personal life, lube plays an important role. It’s a key figure in two things I value the most: exploration and pleasure.

I assume we’re all familiar with the phrase, “wetter is better”, yes? While I appreciate the sentiment and the direction, “better” doesn’t cut it. I argue that wetter is: non-negotiable, crucial, essential. Let me tell you why:

  1. Exploration and pleasure are so synonymous that one can’t truly exist without the other.

  2. Exploration of your body is a key part in developing an understanding of how to experience pleasure.

In my practice as a sex therapist, I explain the absence of exploration as a psychological chastity belt. If you don’t know, where can things go?

For those with vulvas, a conscious effort is required to get to know your body. Conscious effort meaning good lighting, a mirror- or two- and lube. The inner labia are covered in mucus membrane, designed to always be moist due to sensitivity. Let’s follow Mother Nature’s lead and take a lesson from this: never touch a vulva without lube.

It’s important to look at your vulva when you aren’t aroused, during early arousal and high arousal. Notice how your body swells, darkens and shifts. This allows you to discover the power your vulva holds in allowing you to experience increased pleasure as arousal builds.

Lube means you can do this while protecting the delicate tissue within your vulva and vagina.

For too long we have followed a heteronormative, cock-centric sexual script. Within this, lube rushes towards and accommodates penetration rather than amplifying pleasure. Lube isn’t just a route to penetration. It’s a tool for empowerment. It’s time to centralise the vulva and incorporate lube to aid our voyage of discovery rather than end it.