7 sex-related words to say out loud every day to get over your embarrassment

Let’s face it, sexual or sex-related words can be embarrassing to say out loud. Even when you’re in the intimate privacy of your own home or bedroom. What makes it even worse is when they’re replaced by lack-lustre and cringe-worthy words such as thingy or hoohar. It’s as though the mere lip movements to form words like vagina can send all kinds of squirming spasms through your soul.

Why is it like that? Everybody has sex, everybody has genitalia, and everybody has some kind of sexual preference. Taboo around sex and its language is still one of the last standing walls in our society.

Fantastic progress has been made in talking openly about mental health. Its vocabulary is fast becoming a part of our everyday vernacular. Words that seemed scary at first, e.g. depression and anxiety, have now become tools to help us express ourselves. When you consider that  1 in 4 people will experience mental health issues, and that every person will experience questions around sex at some point — why shouldn’t sex get the same treatment?

We, as a society, need to be as plain spoken with the language around sex as we’ve begun to be about mental health.

But how to break through those barriers of embarrassment? Easy. Like the mental health movement, we need to use these words out loud and proud. Not shying away, even from those words that are deemed vulgar or bad taste.

So let’s begin with the 7 words to say out loud every day:

Vibrator

You knew this one was coming first, didn’t you.

Vibrators can be your sex life’s best friend, but this word can send shivers down many folk’s backs. Owning and using one can often be seen as a failure of your sex life, especially if you’re in a relationship. But that’s simply not true. The word and the device can bring so much fun and meaning to your sexual wellness — they should be celebrated, not hidden away.

Clitoris

A mystical being to some, clitoris is second up. Despite approximately half of the world’s population being the owner of one, it’s often very little spoken about. It’s one of the most important sexual organs when it comes to talking about pleasure, so it needs space in our everyday language.

Masturbation

This four-syllable word can be hard for some people to get through. Often used with derision for teenage boys, getting to know yourself through masturbation is an important act within sexual wellness.

Anal

How can one word conjure up so many feelings? Many people enjoy this sexual act. But it’s either falsely believed to only be enjoyed by a specific group of folk on the sexual spectrum, or shamefully hidden by others. Let’s take those feelings and wrong assumptions away from it and let anal flourish on its own.

Penetration

The word sex is often used in lieu of penetration. But the reality is, sex covers a hell of a lot more than just penetrative sex. By making this distinction, we open ourselves up to exploring what the word sex really means.

Orgasm

Euphoria inducing for some, anxiety inducing for others. The o-word can sometimes be difficult to say, because it’s not always a factor within your sexual exploration. While yes, orgasms are great, they’re not the be all and end all. So by making this a part of our everyday language, we can talk about the why, when, and how around them much more easily.

Cum (or come)

Leaving the grammatical debate out of it, like orgasm, this word can carry a lot of weight and embarrassment. Also like orgasm, cum (or cumming) can create big expectations when exploring sexuality. Help break those down by getting comfortable with it.

This isn’t a one-step fix all to the embarrassment or uncomfortable feelings that we may have around speaking out loud about sex. It also isn’t a comprehensive list of things that we should be talking about either. But the more open and plain spoken we are when using the language, the easier it becomes. So give it a go — you never know what might happen.